Saturday, December 14, 2013

Kickin the can part one....

Well I am sure as shit going to say I told you so....

     So remember my last post...and when the whole world wide interweb got their panties wadded up at Mike Sinyard?

     I guess I will never ever understand why we always let SRAM and AVID off the hook. They have been fucking more people and more shop owners over for years. Make no mistake about it, the big sue happy S is also to blame. They are the bastards that spec that shit lock stock and barrel. ( I know nothing of what Trek specs because their bikes are all piss poor copies of someone else's work anyway.)

     Here's a bit of my personal history with the SRAM/AVID crap.

Waaaaay back in the day I was a huge Avid fan boy. Sram also. First modern bike was Gripshift and Avid V brake equipped. My bikes prior to this were re fabs. I was a retro grouch due to my socio economic state. I ran what I fixed up from the piles. But when I threw down real money I got a Specialized. Even back in the day them bastards were conspiring against us. But back then, SrAvid had something to prove. Their shit actually worked and was reliable. ( unless you gorilla fisted the cable replacement and broke a bunch of plastic shit.) They were playing to win and knock Shimano off the block.

  2000/2001. XO. Sram was launching their first big silo at Shimano. I was first in line. I got that big ass Tin full of my XO rear mech. I got me a ticket to win at the NORBA Nationals. Free "VIP" schwag handed out by none other than Mr. Cut the Course in '90. All them bitches were jealous....I really was fully into that Sram twisty shit. Every single wrench and person I knew made fun of me. But hey it worked and I was really damn close to a fully non Shimano bike. Which was my goal, to have zero Shimano on my ride.

 As time went on I moved my thought patterns to what I was paid to sell. I was paid to sell whatever corporate partnership product we spec'd on our bikes. If our trailer had Kenda on it, then by god those were the best rubbers you could ride. Fox forks...pure squishy gold. Anything we partnered up with was the company line and therefore my line. Oddly, it was always Shimano. I rode it. I liked it. I was being won over.

 Then I pulled a few years back wrenching in retail. Oh Holy Hell how times changed. The Sram stuff I once loved acted like the girl who just caught you banging her sister. It was a hot mess. It howled, actually gobbled like a turkey popping a cherry. It vibrated better than any Steely Dan on the market, you really could not control it once it started. And then it stopped stopping. It also stopped shifting just about the same time it wanted you to Make the Leap.

 Leap? Hell it couldn't even nudge. The first years of Sram Red front derailleurs alone should have brought that company down in a hell storm of customer complaints. But like most sheep we kept following. It seriously performed so bad we thought it was the new normal. Then myself or some three hundred other mechanics decided that even a Sora would work better. And that became the best way to fix Red front shifting. XX1...shit any wrench can tell you they came up with 1X11 so they wouldn't have to TRY and make another front derailleur.

 Sheeple. Sram counts on it. And most of you thick skulled minions keep walking right off the cliff. Don't even get me started on Rock Shox. They were only better than Manitou. After stuffing stanchions with foam who the fuck thought plastic cartridges were a good idea? I had a Judy DH that leaked like it was a full time job. It was. Rock Shox just finally sent me four cartridges so I could have them in steady rotation and save them shipping charges. Oh and Fuck Reba. Shut up, you brought her home so you get to bang her.

 ( Rock Shox is making some decent shit now, really. Pike ) but

 You pretty much feel that way every time you buy, fix, or ride that shit nowadays. Maybe just maybe your batch is the good one. Maybe. But its all your dollars and all your loss when your ride is in my shop getting bled for the 90th time before a recall...

Shop owners. WOW are you getting fucked. No lube. No reach around. Just a pile of shitty free chains (waiting to be recalled...), free cassettes ( also awaiting their recall), and a few free bottles of DOT. You pay me how much? And your margin was? so factor that into the free man hours you are giving away and you just got raped. But no outrage at all....just sheeple along.

 Fanboys and girls are the greatest.

"Ever ridden a Shimano brake at 0 degs , they don't work either ...."

" have Sram brakes on all of my bike ( bunch) , I've found if I flush the brakes and be fairly anal when setting up , they work perfect.... "

"because Shimano has never had a recall... Um, yeah... SRAM/Avid breaks have gone downhill, but I know plenty of people who had Elixirs and never had an issue, myself included. "

"SRAM drivetrain components work great."

from my favorite ass clown:
"poor baby...u have to r u always complaining....they credit ur service hours anyway...stop hating on everything u have trouble working on...send them to my shop and ill do them...god forbid u have to bleed some brakes...."

"Actually, I like my elixers. It helps to know how to bleed them and have a little patience adjusting the calipers."

more from my favorite ass clown:
" I dont get it...?....bleed them right away when open em folks....bleed them right...they all work fine...iv done thousands....u know when they fill them it comes from a giant drum thats absorbed water...?...maybe try stu class....not rocket science"

 One thing that they all have in common, they all really know how to bleed brakes. BECAUSE they have to do it all the damn time. My favorite is the clown who can't even use english. He was so adamant about Sram crediting you for labor. Brooooooo, a damn chain ain't cutting it in my shop. We do real work and get paid a fair wage for our professional work. Son. I cost money. My owners value me and my co workers. So yea, a chain isn't really covering it.

 Dear Sram,

 Test your shit. Like in a lab or something. We the consumer and end user actually have to PAY to use your crap. Assuming its actually going to work. Please stop using me as a lab rat AND taking my money. If you want me to test your product for you....PAY ME or give it to me for free. 

Yours truly,

Every consumer since 2002.


Monday, December 9, 2013

Everybody else is doing it so I'll pile on too...

     Well unless you are pretty dead and hate the internet you know all about the big red S and some poor Canadian bastard who is freezing his ass off trying to pay some bills and live a happy life. But how about the rest of the shittards in the mix. Who? Well me for one. I have to work in a shop that is tied to the sue happy brand. I have to sell all kinds of little packages with the S ue happy label. So I am pissed for a whole different reason.

     You see my shop sells a lot of very expensive bikes. Quite nice bikes actually, and yes some have the S emblazoned on the head tube. This sweet little shop is also run by two dudes trying to make it the best in the business. They pay very well and take great care of the employees with some sweet benefits and a whole lot of understanding. But the fact is any shop now carrying the S ue happy label has to bear the brunt of its shear stupidity.

     It is the middle of winter. Well for all intents and purposes it is, I mean it's cold as balls out right? So most of us are cleaning, finding projects we never really could take down with 95 repairs due five minutes ago. Que the lawyers to fuck us all again. In the court of public opinion Specialized has lost its marbles. One trip over to the Facebook land will allow you to see the powers of social media in full force. Really, I'd hate to be their marketing department for a few days. And FUUUCK the public relations team just in their face...they are so screwed. How do you really come back from this? A full blown shit storm. Deservedly so I may add.

     I mean a few posts down and they have the balls to state :

     Tell it to the guy you are suing now. Go Ahead and tell him how much you support his dream, his paycheck, his livelihood, and more importantly tell us all about how the name Cafe Roubaix confuses us. 
     Now about that saddle picture. any one remember this?

So exactly how stupid does S think we are? Short minded? I mean Specialized does know the internet is like forever right? I wonder how that sits with Portland? pun fully intended.

 But I digress. A few hundred of us have to go to work and try to sell these bikes, tires, and tubes. All while reveling in the fact that the big S is looking out for us, the small business owner and it's employees. I mean they absolutely have to protect their trademark ferociously or you might just not remember the difference between a Madone or a Roubaix. Hell you may even think the only place you can get a Roubaix is at the Cafe Roubaix in Calgary. HELL you mean Roubaix is in Europe? I am so confused.

     I just really do not get what the fuck they are thinking. In this day and age you want to go all corporate and screw the little guy? I mean that is basically what you do everyday, but this time you want to do it out in the open so everyone can see how mashed your thought process is. It is one thing if a guy chooses to dance with devil and take his chances buying your wares and trying to meet your unrealistic sales projections. But now just tell me how is this going to help the dealers out? I mean now we are front line punching bags for your lame ass lawyers epic ( can I say that?) brain fart. Which brings about another question.

   He is so fired right? I mean his actions just caused the internets to take an unholy crap all over you. But he was surely doing as demanded. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. They eat their young. Lawyers and sharks and Sin yards.

 From above link: "The Japanese way starts with honor and integrity" -- Mike Sinyard

Oh how you have forgotten your roots.