Friday, July 19, 2013

Shit mechanics deal with part 2

Generally speaking people seek way to entertain themselves
while at work.

Mechanics are no different really,
we just seemingly have a non stop parade of opportunity.

Like this gem provided to us by Cannondale.
WTF was being passed around in the board room that day?
Yeah, the bike is old but not old enough to escape the DUH factor
of using EPO as a marketing splash on a bike.

Everybody wants a stiff road bike.
Well, lets make a carbon road frame so strong...
you can get hit by a car and the frame won't budge.

Scott wins, Shimano fails.
That there is a Ultegra crank bent from contact with a moving car.
Frame says fuck you I ain't moving.
WOW is all I could think. Carbon that didn't snap. Go figure.

Days go by, you plod through the usual bike ailments. 
Then a little gem pops in and you either 

Hope you get the bike in your stand


Hope your timing is just right so you screw your co worker.

I chose the latter on this puppy.
Not because it is a POS ( every body loves their bike right?)

But as an old man I didn't think I could lift it.

Ever have someone ask you for the valve nuts?

Ever wonder why?

now you know.

Just ease back and let the awesome soak in.
Judy if you care.

not soaked in yet?

So how much wrong is going on here?

I for one am certain this guy never ever participates in Drunkcyclist.

How could you?
one stumble and you are well on your way to bleeding out or the ER due to the parting of the Red Sea that used to be your lower leg.

O-ring clamps can cut a bitch.

Now I for one don't mind wrenching.

If you look back a few I used to be pretty damn sour. 
Then I learned that I should not just take a job anywhere, but choose where I want to spin wrenches.
So I did.
I am pretty happy at work.
Unless you are a dick.

No body likes a dick.

I do however dislike certain things that a wrench must deal with.

This is near the top of the list.
On this day Itwasthewholedamnlist



Seriously this is like a big Fuck YOU
to the guy playing catcher in this game.

there is probably a part three coming.


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

only the road bikers can save us

Just look at the amazing things that could happen if road bike manufacturers 
would only take the time to help us poor mountain bikers out

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Shit mechanics deal with part one...

People see shit everyday.
So what's the big deal?

Sweet stack height...oh and mount.

The big deal is that when you deal with a toy for a living
people do really weird shit.
Which can piss you off if you let it,
or as I have begun to learn,
can really allow you to make fun of people
to feel better about yourself.

These toys are not just average.
They are what most people I know use to free themselves from 
the daily grind.
Escape from the boring bullshit people do for money.

It is their drug.
It is my drug.

People can really fuck this experience up.
I decided I really enjoy one aspect of wrenching in particular.

Bring me these, I love, love, love scraping 20 years of crusty lube and trail off pulleys.  Seriously.

( OK two if you count writing this blog and making light of douche bags)

For me I like teaching people about their whip.
This is a dangerous slope.
As a wrench it can be difficult at times for your work to seem valid.
Asshats tend to think you are just a kid or loser fixing bikes.
Not exactly a technician.
but factor in the rising cost of a bike....

Do you really want some loser kid fixing your $5,000 bike?

Hell, you want some loser kid dialing in your $500 bike?

Not if you are forking over money.

But I really dig it when people are NOT asshats and treat you like a human.
People as a rule tend to not do this too often.
When people have their shit go awry they forget themselves.

They are really just frustrated,
 they have to admit they know 
jack about fixing it.
Don't believe me?

Next time your car craps out and you get bent on the bill,
are you really mad at the $$$
or that you couldn't do it yourself?
Computer issues? 
In todays world that one can really FUBAR your day.
It tends to make you all sideways.   
And chances are you can't fix it.
Pissed, right?

This is gonna be fun.

So that's not good

Which explains a whole lotta this.