Thursday, July 28, 2011

Lets Play the guessing game.....

Anyone want to guess what brand of motorcycle
this guys T shirt advertised?

C'mon you need to guess.

So I want to know is....

Is this what happens when they get a DUI?

Every wrench in the world can tell a DUI bike from any other bike.
We don't judge ( the DUI ).
We just wonder why in the hell it took you this long to appreciate the bicycle.
By the way, 
once you put those bars on a bicycle
you should get a clown outfit and some big shoes.

O wait, you're already wearing the T shirt.
Guess you just need shoes.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Y bike

Every now and again you get 
"that Guy".

You know, the once a month warrior who rides, USED to race.
He is a little fatter now and loves to relive his glory days
as a racer,
to you, the wrench.

Road types are 


Yup, that is what you think it is.
Dude, is going to Sedona to rip it.
He wants to drop well over a hundred dollars in to this 
"race bike".

That is full suspension glory.
All Hail the Y.

Wait, what in the holy hell is that?

Is that a towel zip tied to the handle bar?
As a crash pad?

I am just going to let the mental imagery of this guy 
smashing his sternum
run completely amuck in my brain for a few hours.


Saturday, July 23, 2011

Aero gone Awry

Anyone who has turned a wrench has a
place in their heart for Tri geeks and those in search of 

Even the wrenches who do participate in TT's or Tri's.
Trust me they do.

But when a friggin beauty like this comes in,
 all wrenches bite their lip and do their best to not laugh directly in the face of the mess of humanity who chooses to ride this 

Judy would NOT condone this.

Yup that's a "mountain bike".

Rogue. Hell yeah that's Rogue alright.
As in off the reservation. ( keen viewers will also recognize it as "Special".

The view of all views.
The cockpit.
Imagine yourself lucky enough to propel this machine.

Now I have a friend who raced the Continental Divide race and had a similar set up. 
I'll cut him some slack 'cause he rode his bike across the country.

Anyone else gets a kick in the nether land.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Brian K. sent in this beauty......

Sent by Brian K.

Where in the world do I start with this pile of shit?
The car version?

Anyone who drives a PT Cruiser should just drive off a cliff. 
I love the fact that 500,000,000,000 of the "Limited Edition"
piles of crap have been made.
I have a rule...
"never trust anyone who drives a PT Cruiser"

I am adding to that rule.

"Punch the crap out of someone who has this bike"

Oddly enough it too is "Limited Edition".

next is NSFW.

but oddly enough fits well....

anyone in that position NOT driving a PT cruiser would have run the crackhead over.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Meet the new Ford Focus....

Image from:’s-orbea-orca-gdi2_175817/attachment/the-orcas-seatpost-clamp-is-slick-photo-caley-fretz

Orbea, please stop making the ugliest seatpost clamps in the biz.
Not sure if this is from a Focus or the ever popular super Fugly

PT Cruiser.

Either way you cut it it is not slick.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Ivan Basso...your bike hates you.

Image is from ...

So you're such a finicky badass that you need on the fly minute adjustments to the seat height?
Or are you on some new super drug that actually has serious leg length discrepancies while on the bike?
Either way you are sorta a MAJOR douche for this.

I have a Command Post,
but it seems rather useful. Being a 6+ inch travel all mountain bike.

Basso, are you even a contender anymore?

I will try to forgive your past dope filled extravaganza.

But for the seatpost...

you had better HTFU and podium like a madman riding that piece of douchebaggery.

The bike will not forgive.