Sunday, September 8, 2013

The hits just keep on coming

     Best thing about this job is the never ending stream of eye popping things you see. A good portion of it is owner induced trauma ( or hate ). Which is how this blog and FB thing started over a few beers. I kept seeing crazy mindblowing crap. Friends wouldn't really believe me, and so the smart phone helped tell a lot of stories.

     I do enjoy my work. But I ride bikes to get away from the computard. A lot of my clients really make shittons of money using the computer. They stare at and tap away at it all day. Hell, I order parts and enter work orders on one. I ride to get away from that shit. Some of you plug your pods into your earbuds and ride. EFFF that. I just ride. No computer, no earbuds. Just singletrack and a tasty beverage for my pause.

Then you get this guy...



     Now I got some big hands. This guy has his damn laptop strapped onboard. 




     Computard rider also has 90 spacers and an adjustable stem. Full upright, full windsail. Fullyfuckoff.
I just cannot get it. I bring a camera, hell I like what I see. The only digital record of my ride I need to remind me of is the escape, the sights I see, and memories to recall when I am strapped to the computard alldamnday. I sure as shit ain't stopping to take a call, answer an email, or text.


    Then you get the internet China guy.The one that is smarter than you. He found some Zipp 303's " online for like $1000." 
     UHHHHH ok guy. Happy as shit for you. So what brings you in? Warranty? huh, that's weird. Can't warranty those Zipp 303's online? huh Weird again.

Exhibit A.

     Now that is oneweirdasshitlooking Zipp 303. I mean, it does have the world champion stripes so I think it must be legit...

Exhibit B.

Ok. Now I am starting to have some kind of doubt. I mean Shimano and Sram play nice all the time right? So Shimano probably lent them some rim strips when Sram ran low. THAT makes sense...

Exhibit C. 

     Zipp is gaining in popularity. So they probably made the wrong profile 303's due to saving carbon to make more wheels. The Shimano rim strip was just a share amongst industry friends. But this? This SHIT. Now I mean, Novatec is some straight baller ass shit. Every pro in the peleton just stickers their hubs over....they ALL run Novatec. SO internet guy you really won the lottery. I'll be sure to send this in to SRAM for full warranty evaluation. I'll call you when SRAM gets back to us. Nofuckingproblem.


     Everyshopguysfavoritehomie rushes in on Thursday before close. He really needs his rig ready to rock the sport class hero ( Cat 5 if your a roadie) (( yeah I do know they changed that system. Fuck them.)) race. " I have really been pounding the miles so I "didn't have time to drop it off earlier". 
HMMMMM.


Ok...

 That guy must know "I do my own maintenance" guy. The one that tells you everything that is NOT wrong with the bike. Thanks for the help champ. " The creak is from my BB not my headset. I just overhauled it last week."

So then this?????

Heeeeeyyyyyyy bro. Chocolate pudding cups are not headset lube. neverevernever. 


Like I said it truly is a good way to work through life. The 100 other people you see a week who really truly know what you do and appreciate it make it all cakes and roses. 

 I will just never understand the trying to pull the wool over your wrenches eyes. We are there to help. We are not ashamed of what we do. Wefuckinglovethisshit. 



Be real. Ride for fun. Don't be a dick.

yourbikehatesyou.










9 comments:

  1. I was wondering what happened to my pudding cups...

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  2. Awesome. My fav is when the customer ask an expert (me) then tells me I am wrong.

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  3. Interesting. When I enter the shop I generally say, "I'm a dipshit and want you to fix my bike and if you see more shit to fix please fix it please because I confess I'm too lazy to do it on my own and I have a job so people can help me take care of my bikes and cars and stuff thank you."

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  4. I think those are "303 Z wheels" and not Zipps

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  5. thanks for the laugh. we are not alone in this.

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  6. haha, yeah, Z wheels. I ride the sh*t out of my "Z" wheels. They are way better and way faster than Zipps.

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  7. Just found this blog. Left the industry last year after almost two decades of wrenching. I don't miss the stupidity but I do miss the elegance of the machinery. And wrench humor, which would never fly in my new career. I will bookmark this as a safety valve for sure. Thanks tons, especially for the chocolate pudding comment and photo. OMGYES.

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