Monday, June 6, 2011

Go back to assembling charcoal grills....

Welcome to the fattest place on Earth.
We wonder why we are despised the world over.
Well for one, we can't even take the time to assemble a bike correctly.

In other countries the bike is not just some toy your kid wants. 
It's livelihood.

Here in the suburban sprawl and shit storm of collagen injections, penis hardening pills, and gas guzzling monstrosities 
the bike is something to hate and belittle.

This device is actually pretty cool when you think about it.
Assembled correctly it can prolong a bikes life just a little. 
How many parents are just gonna bitch at little Johnny or Lisa when they bend the derailleure?
Probably a lot. 
Some have come in and laid their little bitch storm at my feet.
Well, I didn't buy a Walmart bike.
And I sure as hell didn't break this one.
But you're yelling at me( the guy about to fix your bike), and your kid, is a telling sign of your complete doucheness.

Tell ya what.
Buy a bike from a real shop.
Yeah it cost a bit more.
But it will work, be assembled correctly,
and keep another American working at a living wage.
Leave the Walmart guy alone to assemble your grill.
He hates bikes.

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