Sunday, December 11, 2011

white people problems...

New guy here.
Took this over for the old guy,
who promises to send in Pics.
Torch has been passed and well...
here goes:

If you work in a shop you know 

You know.
"What do you mean I need a new tube?"

No they AREN'T fucking guaranteed for life.
You run over a nail
and goddamn right it'll go flat.

Please stop bitching about how much I charge you to fix it.
If you weren't so fuckin lazy you'd save $10 whole dollars.
Well no shit it took me 6 minutes to change your flat,

Do you know haw many lazy ass people there are ?
I've changed a million fuckin flats
I'd better be good at it.
Lazy wanker.

Oh, and just so you know.
that flat head screwdriver you plan on using to change your own flat 
when you get home...

( Because you too dumb to listen to me talk about Pedro's tire levers )

It's definitely gonna give you another flat,
and hopefully fuck up your rim.

"Whattya mean I need rim tape?"

" My bikes not ready?"
Says the hag who refused to wait for a call or pay attention to the due date on the work order.
Uh, no.
We open at 10. It's 10:01.
"Damn it. I drive the SUV. My husband has a Corvette, he wants to ride tonight after golf. He is going to be so mad."

Awesome. That's a real life altering problem. It's fucking Tuesday. You are out ruining people's days, and your husband is playing Golf. It must suck so hard being you. I mean, MOST people have to work
for a living. Not you, you rich fucking prick. Go get your hair did, and have some Lipo.

Your Tri is this weekend.
You need new
 areo-bars, a fit, all new cables & housing, and tubulars glued on...
I love it when you wait till 5pm on a Friday.
I love it even more when you try telling me all this while on your cell phone with your "Besty".
It makes things even more awesome when you yell at me.
Wanna know why?

I'm punching out at 5:30.

someone who isn't a total fuckingtardospaz
comes in with a real necessity,
talks TO me,
and is realistic in their expectations.

For that person...

and all while you wait in agony.
Cause you should understand
your problems

Uncensored - Louis C.K. - White People Problems
Louis C.K.ComediansStand-Up


" You don't have the new 2012 S Works 29er in my size? I was really hoping to have it for the race tomorrow..."

You mean the one you have been coming in everyday for a month to buy one damn thing at a time to help you train for?
You mean the one we set up for you everyday for two weeks?
The one you test rode 16 times?
 The one we fit you too?
The one you texted me 27 times about?
The one you refused to put on layaway?
Give a deposit on?
Place on 24 hour hold?
That one?

We sold it bitch. For cash. For full pop. To the guy who is gonna facefuckyouupeveryhillineveryraceforever.

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