Apocalypse Now......Or Elitptigetthefuckouttahere.

I have been holding back

holding out

and just plain letting this one stew for a bit.

It is an abomination of all that is holy.

Is it even allowed to be here, on this blog and have insults hurled at it?

Faaaack yeah.

If I have to spend one damn minute working on this pile of stepped in dog poo

YOU ARE GOING TO SEE IT.

Oh yeah baby,

 there it is in all its unholiness.

WTF?

If I see your dumbass riding, striding, stairclimbing,

or whateverthefuckitisyoudo

on this beast...

I will probably hurl insults in a machine gun style at you.

Seriously,

You need to get your tubby ass in a gym and hide from sight. 

Elpitigo your ass the hell on outta here

I fix bikes damnit.

And this sure as shit is no kind of bike,

none.

Wait,

HO.LEE. HELL

You mean to tell me that has Carbon Fibre 

whateveryoucalltheplaceyouputyourfeet?

There.is.no.god.

Words are not enough.

It gets better.

Captain Green Machine 

called up and wanted to know when his "bike" would be ready.

His wife apparently was pissed off at him for spending

$2K on this?!?!?!?

Huh.

No

wait.

2 friggin grand???

no shame at all sir none. 

I got nothing.

I'll be stuck on stupid for a while having seen this.