What hasn't been between your legs

Not exactly calling you an outright 

whore,

but you simply must pay better attention to what you allow

between your legs.

Seriously,

at some point you must have thought

" maybe this is not what I want to rub up against my privies" 

Or perhaps you are like the hookers who date and marry Hugh Hefner.

Perhaps you like it old and decayed.

Maybe you long for the dust and crust.

Trust me.

If your date knew you had this between your legs your last time out.

YOU WOULD NEVER GET SOME AGAIN.

Like nevah evah. 

Where do you think the rest of it went?

Eww.

 Gross fuck, why are you thinking that?

Have you no sense of decency, sir, at all left?

An oasis?

Really?

An oasis of what?

Syphilis?

Gonorrhea?

Stanky cheese crotch?

Perhaps you just like your bean and cheese burritos 

with a little flame thrower sauce. 

We all have had a case of "the reds".

If its that hot going in...

Butt really???

A new saddle can be had for $25

Save your crotch.

Save any self respect you have.

Stop advertising that any and everything can and has

reached the promised land.

Ahh the promised land....

Get a new seat you cheap stinky bastard.

Oh and wash your butt. 

really watch that.

really.

what do you think the seat smelled like?