Your bike sucks.
Your wheels can't compare to this.
There is no off the shelf,
over the counter.
or prescription that can
make your parts big enough to handle this.
Most of you have seen this on
If you have not then your webs are in all the wrong places.
This here is a zombieapocalypse winning bike.
It can handle you,
your whining pathetic little ways.
It has a cult.
Cliques are for nancy boy/girls who ride Specialized.
These believers will crush your soul.
Having shredded with Slappy I can testify that them wheels
That shit is actual size and will
every dream you have ever had.
Religion was created to allow big 26" wheels to crush
No one gives a shit about your 29.
I can attest that 26 is in fact the new 29.
Game fuckin over.
26 just won the wheel war.
All your wheels are belong to us.
I don't own one yet.
I am getting the light shed upon me.
Brothers and sisters,
that light is bright.
It's coming for you.
(google that for scary) or light