Monday, October 31, 2011

Are you really THAT ignorant?

You insult the hell out of someone when you hand them 
a tire with SHIT on it,
you further that insult when 
I have to change the damn tube inside said tire.

You are a fucking moron of epic proportions. 
A fucking giant.

You are a full grown adult who cannot change a flat?
Who fucked your childhood?

You're probably one of those "gamer kids",
scared of the light and shit.

Listen, doucheboy.
Grab a $7 set of levers and spend the next 
ten minutes figuring out how they work.

Hell, youtube it you lazy bitch.

So I state "gross" rather loudly,
grab a pair of blue gloves.
Snap them on loudly.
and place the most expensive 16"
tube I have in your child's stroller wheel.

Tactically place the shit wheel facing you and ring you up.

And I watch.

As you touch shit.

But I am not done.
I must make you aware of your full douchebaggedness.

( Made that fucking word up just for the occasion )

"Hey, you might wanna be careful where you grab that."


"Because it is covered in fecal matter."

So have an nice lunch you poop toucher.

Want to figure out what's wrong with society?
Like nail it?

Wait tables, tend bar, or spin a wrench.
It is amazing that people can belittle one another in so many ways.

Do you really want to piss your server off before you order food?

But, yet you think it is ok to piss off the guy you are going to 
pay to work on your bike?

the same bike you are going to win the 
Tuesday night world championships on?
( Or your lame ass Sprint Tri?)



  1. I FUCKING LOVE YOU! i've let this not effect me anymore because IT HAPPENS EVERYDAY! piece of shit wheel covered in shit from Mister "i drive a BMW" piece of shit human being.

  2. What gets me is when the customers don't believe me about chain or tire wear. "I just got that chain a year ago" - says a guy that rides his 29er four times a week without lubrication. It's "squeaky" clean. Godamnnit I hate customers.

  3. Someone really fucked their childhood.. And they'll just keep passing the shit onto everyone around them. Selfish ignorant assholes..

  4. Don't attribute to malice what may simply be explained by overwhelming bone crushing stupidity. Just because he drove a BMW to the shop, and wears a bespoke suit, he is still the half witted, moronic, ass-hatted, dweeboid he was as a6th grader whose mommy made him wear stripes while the rest of us wore plaid. His wife and mistress hate him. Karma is a bitch. Everyone gets a turn in the barrel. His may be longer or messier than yours or mine.

  5. I scrubbed canine fecal matter off of a customer frame this week. I guess it's more common than I thought.