Saturday, November 5, 2011

Weekend jamie s.

Wrenching on bikes ain't all pie in the sky.
We all deal with shit in our day to day grind.
Stupidity runs rampant in our society.

Jamie S. sent me a list of things he loves every day.

I made a hate ( HE REALLY MEANS LOVE!)  list today when I woke.

Top 10 things I hate about bike shop customers and the dumb shit they ask the wrench.(I know I shouldn't bit the hand that feeds me, but anyway)

10. Why don't they make any bikes in the U.S.A. anymore. " cause you're too cheap to buy them"
9. When I'm told by a fat lazy guy that he is a road cyclist. "he was sponsored in college"
8. When people think a $60 tune up will fix a worn out bike. " how hard can it be to fix bikes..."
7. Stop thinking you are a mechanic and fucking with your derailure limit screws, and saying you didn't. "they only turned them a little"

6. Explaining that "Schwinn bike" is a crap bike now. "except the ones that were always crap"
5. "Why is my tube flat? You just changed it the other day." Welcome to the desert dumb ass. " but they used a screwdriver to put it back on"
4. "It can't be that hard to tune a bicycle, is it?" And any idiot can do your job too.
3. "Couldn't I just use some WD-40 on my drive train?" " shit you can, and then I'll charge you the idiot fee as well"
2. "I need a new wheel this on keeps going flat." sir you mean a new tube and tire. " fucking sell them a wheel, stupid should hurt -- the wallet."
1. "I'm doing a sprint triathlon next weekend could you put some slick tires, this sweet bento box, and some carbon fiber aero bars on my mountain bike?" " Yes, and get them the propeller style aero water bottle mounts for their full suspension rig as well"

Can't say I don't hear the same.

Keep on wrenching,
somebody out there is happy you are.


  1. What also gets me is when a customer rattles off their bike year, make, and model - and then assumes I know the correct seatpost diameter from the top of my head.

  2. ^ hah! Yea it's kinda flattering to think they assume we catalog infinite amounts of information in the brain space... Little did they know that's what the fucking manuals are for!!!

    This post is hilarious!! It seems like we all hear our variation and variety of the same old stupidity..

  3. On #9 , screw you! I'm fat and I bike 50 miles, so screw you again!

  4. I think Jamie was referring more to the visibly lazy dude, not so much the weight of the individual.

    frustrated= bad. bike ride= cure from frustration!