Friday, October 21, 2011

Standy, standback, trackstand....cue the sony keyboard it's the bikers we all love to hate...

Hipsters.



Really?
No like,
do you believe in unicorns
 really?

Shit man, maybe I am getting to be my dad or something.
But Holy hell

Wear you own damn jeans,
not your sisters.

Cheerleading shoes are for cheerleaders.

And Fixed gear bikes are for the track, real messengers, and cyclists in general.

I can't fucking stand it when some three pack a day
college douchebag wannabe
comes in and takes 45 minutes to explain that their tire is flat.

No shit.
What,
did you piss off your unicorn?



I want to knock that guy over.
It would probably take him 27 minutes to count all his change to pay for the flat fix.
Standing in front of me,
asking me about deep V rims,
bitching about how much they cost,

fucking fingernails on a chalkboard.

He probably practiced all week for this,
his shining moment of glory.
the trackstand poseur.

Now tri geeks are a special breed.
so what the hell do you get when you cross a fixter and a tri geek?



ahh holy hell
I just puked in my mouth.
Brother
Brah
Bro.
NOONE
wants to see that. 
 Put a shirt on,
pull your tight pants up,
and color coordinate your glasses for the love of god Brah.

And I want PBR back,
you fuckers find some other beer,
that shit ain't for looking hip.
It's for drinking on a ride, or for wrenching on my own rig.
Them bastards that pinned a Blue Ribbon on that can 
never meant for dudes wearing girl jeans, cheerleader shoes,
and Kanye West shades
to tilt it.

Ya'll are worse than frat boys and a J crew catalogue.
trendy little bitches.

I got nothing.



( the photos were stolen off the interwebs, and the photog has nada to do with this site)





2 comments:

  1. There is something just fundamentally wrong with jeans that are too tight to get caught on chain-rings!!!!

    NICE RANT.....spot on broth'a
    The music really adds to the experience of reading it!!!!

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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